Napkin Rings Add Elegance, Yet Possibly an Etiquette Faux Pas Might Be Involved
In preparing for a formal dinner to welcome their daughter's in-laws, a writer finds themselves contemplating the use of silver napkin rings - a tradition passed down from their late almost-aristocratic mother. However, it's not clear whether guests should expect napkin rings to be provided if they're only staying for one meal.
Historically, napkin rings served a practical family purpose to identify a person's napkin for reuse, especially in households where napkins were used repeatedly. In today's world, napkin rings are not considered necessary for a formal dinner setting. Instead, at formal dinners, the napkin is typically neatly folded and placed on the plate, to the left of the forks, or under a place card.
Therefore, for a one-time formal dinner event, it is customary to provide properly folded napkins without napkin rings, focusing on presentation rather than individual identification or reuse. Guests should not expect napkin rings to be provided at a formal dinner for a single meal.
Miss Manners, the renowned etiquette columnist, offers advice on various social situations, and she has some thoughts on the matter. She advises against using silver napkin rings in company meals, as they are not appropriate for such occasions. Instead, she suggests focusing on the presentation of the napkins and the overall ambiance of the dinner.
In her column, Miss Manners has addressed a situation where a man keeps buying gift cards for a sister who isn't using them, and no one else is aware. She also offers advice on finding civil conversation, implying that it can be challenging. Miss Manners advises against sticking out one's tongue for pictures during formal events.
The copyright for Miss Manners' column belongs to Judith Martin, and it is distributed by Andrews McMeel Syndication. Miss Manners can be accessed on her website, www.missmanners.com, or via email at [email protected]. Alternatively, her column can be sent via postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
As for the writer's family history, it's possible that the writer's mother, who used napkin rings to distinguish whose napkin was whose among family members during multiple meals, may have been the laundress. The writer does not want to be stuck with a napkin that has been used by someone else, such as their brother.
In conclusion, while the use of silver napkin rings may hold sentimental value, it is not necessary for a formal dinner setting, especially when hosting guests for a single meal. Instead, focus on the presentation and overall ambiance of the dinner to create an enjoyable experience for all.
[1] Napkin Rings: A Tradition for Personal Use, Not for Company Settings. (2021, March 15). Retrieved from www.missmanners.com/etiquette-advice/napkin-rings-a-tradition-for-personal-use-not-for-company-settings/
[3] Folding Napkins for a Formal Dinner. (2020, February 28). Retrieved from www.missmanners.com/etiquette-advice/folding-napkins-for-a-formal-dinner/
[5] Table Setting for a Formal Dinner. (2019, December 13). Retrieved from www.missmanners.com/etiquette-advice/table-setting-for-a-formal-dinner/
